The 12 O'clock Appointment

The day arrived. I would go later that morning to the cancer center and have the first chemo treatment of my life. After sitting by Brian’s side for his 20+ chemo treatments, and then volunteering at our cancer center where I took coffee and snacks to patients receiving chemo and infusions, I saw what people brought on their chemo days, so I had a pretty good idea of what to pack in my bag for the day. I packed my kindle, a neck pillow, my crossword puzzle book and some snacks. I wore comfy clothes and was prepared for a long day. The cancer center already had warm blankets, so I knew I didn’t need to pack one.

When we left the house to begin this brand new journey, we got in the car and prayed like we do every Sunday as we drive to church. We prayed over the day and everthing that was about to happen. When we finished, I felt prepared for a day of treatment. It turned out, I was not prepared at all for what happened.

When we arrived, I went to the lab, where I left five vials of my blood. The lab lady put a wrist band on my wrist and said to leave it on for four days. Four days? Why four days, I wondered? Before I could ask how I was supposed to shower with it on, she was way ahead of me and said, “You can shower with it on.” Wrist bands are for hospital stays, I thought. This is not a hospital. Why do I need this thing? As I left the lab with my new “bling” on my arm, I felt like I was wearing a flashing beacon on my wrist. An outward sign that said I’m in the club. The one that starts with a ‘C’.

They called us back to the doctor’s office where we sat down in familiar chairs and took our routine selfie with my camera. Brian and I have taken a selfie of the two of us at every doctor’s visit. Who knows why? Maybe it’s to mark time and progress. Maybe it’s because every picture matters when you are in a cancer institute. I’m not sure exactly, but it is a habit now, so we do it.

During our visit with the physician, I learned that my blood numbers were improved a bit. Then we heard him say, he didn’t think I needed chemo today, to come back in a few weeks and we will see what my blood looks like then. I didn’t need chemo that day! I felt a huge, unexpected sense of relief. My goodness! I didn’t see that coming!

I looked down at my wristband. “What do I do with this?” I asked. “You can take it off,” the doctor said. I smiled and stayed seated, though on the inside, I had already jumped up and begun a happy dance.

We finished 0ur office visit, I picked up my packed bag and we left the building. We got in the car and spent a few minutes thanking our Lord for the bump up in my blood, and for a wise physician who does not treat unnecessarily. We treasured the moment that I got to take off that wristband, then we headed straight to Chick-Fil-A where I ordered an ice cream cone to celebrate.

My wristband is now pinned to my cork board in my office as a reminder of an unexpected outcome.

“Dear Lord, I’m a little frightened today.”

“My child, I’m already there. Fear not.”